My Iranian dad refused to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day – Meghan Markle's family drama has nothing on mine

Posted In: News Date:May 18th, 2018

This is not yet another column about Harry and Meghan’s wedding. Well, it is a bit, seeing as I’ve mentioned them in the first sentence. I’m not usually one for big displays reminding the world there is a family in Britain who, by dint of their birth, will always be regarded as more important than the rest of us and their children more adorable than any of ours. That said, I’m quite into Harry. He’s outgoing and entertaining and best of all, he is marrying someone whose family appear so brilliantly dysfunctional and dramatic that they make his own look like The Waltons.

This is the most normal thing any member of the royal family has ever done. It’s marvellous to see the stiff upper lip in full effect as a statement was released to say that “Ms Meghan Markle has asked his Royal Highness the Prince Of Wales to accompany her down the aisle”. I like to imagine Charles was actually pacing the carpet as the family gathered for a summit on what to do and saying: “Oh for goodness’ sakes, you can’t rely on the bloody Yanks, can you? I’ll bloody do it.”

I hit some serious dad-related snags on my own big day too. I’m not saying that my father didn’t get into the spirit of it; I’m just saying that on the morning of my wedding, he invited some people I had never met to our house for a breakfast barbecue and was still in his pyjamas when the car came to pick us up for the ceremony.